yslf g fk

i need a breath of fresh air gd fucking damnit tomorrow is going to be beautiful im going to be beautiful beautiful mind breeds beautiful heart girls kiss girls what the fuck who cares summah summah summertime 66 fuck fuck fuck dont judge lets hug bursting flaming spewing emotion i wanna scream i wanna cry i wanna laugh lets cuddle lets hug lets spoon oo baby baby sluts prevail over girls with good morals what a fucking shame put underwear on whore wanna be you wanna be on you wanna rip your throat out leave me the fuck alone who the fuck are you who the fuck am i

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahahaahahahhaahahhahaahahahhaahhahahahahaahahhaahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahaha
deja fucking vu

bugs all over the fucking room

it's so hard to care when all you do is get shit on. i'm in such a crappy mood all i want to do is run outside in the rain and scream my head off. it's not fair, i'm trying to change and no matter what i still don't feel like a whole person. i try to shove it away but truthfully, i'm not enjoying myself. i feel ignored and disreguarded, i feel like i don't matter and i don't know what to do to change that. i've been so afraid of losing my loved ones for so long but maybe it's time for a bigger change, more than just attitude. there is only so many times you can leave your self vulnerable, get hurt, and jump back up. i think my time has come. it's time for gina and no one else. i can't know myself unless i'm out there looking for her. the quest is to find me, if only i had a map

i've got more important things to do than spend my time goin' on with you

Spring Cleaning

Spring starts tomorrow night at 8:07pm and i plan on doing some major spring cleaning before summer (june 21) i made a list today in english so i could remember

1. clean room
2. clean house
3. clean self
4. clean out computer(s)
5. clean out mind
6. clean slate

today i tried exchanging the same exact dress except in a smaller size at forever21 and i knew in the back of my mind that they would give me a hard time due to their sucky return policy so i tried telling myself to stay calm and not get angry but sure enough they tried screwing me over and i almost cursed the associate out >:O i was so frustrated and now i have a dress that falls off. fuck

it's so weird how people become inspirational and how some people who were once and inspiration become the opposite. i wish certain people didn't change and other made a life change. whatever, can't control people.

as vain as it sounds my hair has been on my mind lately, haha. i kind of want to dye it blonde but iiiiii really don't know. i'm definitly getting my bangs cut though they are getting really damn annoying. i just hope i can deal with the up keep.

gina said she probably wants to go to SVA in manhattan for college next year which ROCKS because then she won't be all the way in savannah and i can see her on weekends!! i am so stoked that i won't be all alone next year. kinda sucks when all your friends are seniors but hey, they drive me everywhere and laugh at my jokesi really can't beg for too much.

i really should be exercising right now, i need to work out more!!!

we haven't had dat spirit here since, nine-teen-sixty-niiiine

afternoon has got to be the best time for a mocha fix. mmmmm especially a caramel mocha.
my love affair with coffee has grown into a sultry romance novel-esque obsession. hello, caffinaholics anonymus. my name is gina and i have a delicious problem!

as i look at my place setting at this very moment i smile. the sun is shining through the slider doors in my kitchen as i type type type away on my angel of a white laptop, blessing of a mocha to my left (implied) my little cujos laying down as if they didn't sink their little jaws of death into my knee cap only 2 hours before. gilmore girls is humming on the television even though i am in no way paying any sort of attention to it other than background noise. it's a sight from book, really.

it's times like these when i miss california. it pains me that i cannot and do not live on venice beach in this same prediciment. coffee, computer, canines, calm. well to be honest the only thing missing in my reality of afternoon harmony is warmth. and palm trees. i love new york, really i do, but december is the only month i will willingly accept frigid air and snow (unless it's getting me out of school) without throwing a silent hissy fit.

alas my mocha comes to a heart wrenching end. the feeling of which signals it's time for homework. peace bros

dentist

dear dear diary
how can i keep you from collecting dust?
how can i make sure you are always well?
dear sweet diary
i will fill your fragile lines with haggard tales of my warped life
i will caress your gentle pages with dreams and harmonies of hope
dear my little angel
you can keep me sane and remind me i am not as crazy as my hands make me feel
you can laugh and tell me it's okay that i drink too much coffee and draw fairy tales from clouds
dear my sad sad baby
my limbs are tired and my eyes are weak
please tell me it won't end this way